Time Out …
I don’t know about you but usually in February I am raring to go. After a long period of hunkering down through January, I have fought off the demons I need to conquer and rearranged my psyche readying for a new year. Typically there is a clear vision of what I would like it to look like and I’m ready to run.
But this year hasn’t been typical. The last few years haven’t been typical as we all know. Covid has slowed the pace, sped up personal growth-one would hope – and hit reset on so many things. I walked away from a job, and have struggled with whether I ever want to work for someone again. I have my own strengths and weaknesses that have stood by me, got me through a ton of life challenges and frankly I coasted through Covid. The one thing Covid has done is made me smarter. About me. I learned like many of you the power of having time on my hands. Time. The very essence of what is truly valuable in life.
Writer Rasheed Ogunlaru said “While you’ll feel compelled to charge forward it’s often a gentle step back that will reveal to you where you and what you truly seek.” https://www.rasaru.com/
Febuary is the time I typically charge forward -and I will, but as Rasheed pointed out, a time out allowed me to evaluate what was worthy of my time, what wasn’t, and truly understand the difference between achievement and checking off my to do list. I realized just how much I love writing books. I saw how irritated I became when the process was interrupted. It was a thorn in my side that I had to wait a week longer on feedback for my next chapter. I am all consumed by my new noveI and found love again after a dry spell. Time gave me permission to romance what I love to do.
I finally allowed myself to say no to so many things. I struggled with not having a 9-5 job. The puritan work ethic kept nudging me in the ribs, I was working. I just needed to value it. Like you, me and many of us, a time out meant I saved money. I spent money too, and it glaringly showed where I wasted it. More importantly money for the sake of it, chasing after it like the hamster on the wheel revealed when things became quiet, that I don’t care for it. I like what it buys but my personal freedom is far more important. It’s something that I have always known, but time deepened that knowledge.
I stopped blogging last year because, well time became an issue. Then after reconciling that binge watching Netflix was part of that time equation, and something I needed to do, I am back at it refreshed and raring to go.
I have spent a lot of time hiking through the winter and will continue through the year. Why?
“Go to the winter woods: listen there, look, watch, and ‘the dead months’ will give you a subtler secret than any you have yet found in the forest.”
— William Sharp (writing as Fiona Macleod), Where the Forest Murmurs
Now that February is in one more night’s sleep, I’m not raring to go but I am deeply committed to it, and it’s a huge difference.
Dear Woo Woo Girl