When The Going Gets Good, Do You Bring Those Closest To You Along For The Ride?
Dear Woo Woo Girl:
My sister and I are best friends and we share almost everything. She helped me through a rough patch when my husband left me. I helped her move to my city, find an apartment, and a job when she graduated. We don’t speak to our parents, and we rely on each other-particularly when we were growing up. My life is settled now-I have a good job, a husband who adores me and I am pregnant. I feel like I have moved forward in life, but my sister is stuck. She is single, dislikes her job, and is also 30 pounds overweight. I won’t have a lot of time for her when the new baby comes. I feel like should speak to her about her weight and her life. Should I? Signed Sista’s
Dear Sista’s: There are a couple of things going. Because life has grown for you, feeling that it should grow for your sister as well is well, normal. We expect because we have expanded everyone else should or they are less than. Sometimes that happens in life. We are on this planet only to experience and grow, but we don’t do it at the same time, to the same extent or the same direction. That is why it’s called a life journey. When that happens we hold a microscope up to other people in our lives, to make sure they are keeping up.
It’s a little bit like looking down your nose at someone, don’t you think? Where is she really lacking? Lots of people are single, and hate their job, but discounting them or judging are not necessary.
Because what I know for sure is this year’s forward movement can easily be next year’s misery.
You are in a good patch. Hurrah for you! You deserve to be. While those around you may be stuck in a rut, it doesn’t mean they are less than. It may mean it’s not their time. Look at the big picture. Examine your sisters life over the long haul. I’m sure there was a time she was on fire.
Everyone has their moment, at least once and IF they are lucky, multiple times.
Instead of wondering if you should speak to her about her weight, ask for her help in losing the loveable baby fat that is soon to be a gift to you. You can plan to do it together – help yourself and her, so she feels like she is still a part of your life, and not dismissed now that it is no longer the two of you against the world. Include her in your doubts, and see what hers are. This is the best time to reach out.
Not when two people can commiserate in their miserableness, but when one person can offer a light that shines on optimism and new horizons.
Besides, she is all you have. She is your sister. Your parents left the picture but your sister is still a part of it. Ensure she continues to be a part of your family as a sister and an aunt. Allow her to grow into a new role, and don’t think growth should only be on her part. There is a ton of growth left to do for you too. By turning a critical eye on her, you closed down a part of you.
Expansiveness, luck in life, should include others and not exclude them. Share your good fortune.
SPIRITUAL EXERCISE: Practice Qi Gong for Expansiveness
Dear Woo Woo Girl