How old do I have to be before girl-drama ends?
Sipping my morning jolt of caffeine, two in fact, I have been mulling over a week of high drama, involving a group of close girlfriends. Two cups of coffee were needed for the pump of adrenaline, because it was exhausting and a little bit sad. Feelings were hurt and mistakes were made.

Why is it that over 40, girl- drama still lives on?
Even during a pandemic or because of it…there has been some weird emotional baggage floating out there. Complete strangers act weird. Close friends act even stranger. Sensitivity has run high. Maybe it’s boredom; maybe it’s too much time spent social distancing or picking lint from one’s navel. But honestly, this is a time when we should be hugging each other. You know – Sisterhood- like in the movies?

I admit it.  I am always surprised when I encounter girl drama over 40. I’m not naïve. I’m a pretty good judge of character. I’m an Advice Columnist after all! I understand people on a deep, intuitive level. I can spot a need, a fault, a bad apple a mile away. But I always, always, always stumble over woman shit.

Why? I keep asking myself that.

When I was younger I think we all needed the critical, untrustworthy, using, backstabbing mean girl. My most valuable lessons in life came from mean women. One girlfriend stole my boyfriend and asked me if I minded, after she started dating him. “Hell yes!”I minded. He was the all star player on the hockey team, so I stole him back. Another girlfriend sucked the life out of me. Too much angst along with pursed lips equaled constant criticism.  I cut the umbilical cord. A third girlfriend was filled with drama and fun. The constant yo yo was too much. Off with her head!

These type of girlfriends taught me not to let shit in; that my shoes are just fine thank you very much, and to fine tune my boundaries- still a work in progress. But past 40, someone should have posted a warning –  GIRL DRAMA LIVES ON!

Damn.

I would have been more prepared, instead of being perpetually caught off guard. I’m not perfect, but I learned my lessons and there is no need to revisit them. If I say something, I own it and the consequences that go along with it. I learned to zip it, laugh when someone calls me out, and stand my ground.

In those rare moments, when I forget, it’s the other me talking…the know it all teacher, the overly critical mother, the vulnerable me, or the mean girl.

But no matter what flies out of my mouth, it belongs to me. I wish there were sirens that went off when a girlfriend forgot she wasn’t solid – Warning. Warning! Mean girl has left the building. I wouldn’t be thrown so off kilter.

I like the idea of a T-Shirt that states “Sisterhood Rules” as a reminder for me and every woman over 40, we are solid. It would inherently imply witty remarks are said to your face in the spirit of fun and in the name of bonding. Not to intentionally put someone down, to leave someone out, to insinuate you are “less than”.

We women are filled with emotional vulnerability. It’s excruciating, and gut wrenching and a guarantee that our sensivity will be someone else’s problem. Judgies will happen. But after 40, I say be gone! Like the bad fashion mistakes from the seventies, it served it’s purpose and there is no need to go retro again!

Besides, I’ve had enough drama that life brings, never mind the self- inflicted kind. I love excitement. I might even be an excitement junkie, but not usually at the expense of someone else. Unless it’s the exciting -get on a plane to a wild destination exhilaration, I’ll save girl- drama for my next life.