F##R : A FOUR LETTER WORD!
Dear Woo Woo Girl: I am afraid to leave my partner of 5 years. I have been dissatisfied and a bit lazy. I can’t seem to leave even though I truly want something different. I think I have been afraid for most of my life. I haven’t had terrible things happen in my life but I have convinced myself that if I don’t leave I won’t find someone and I will be alone forever! Signed Too Chicken
Dear Too Chicken!
Fear is the single most devastating emotion we can have. Just saying! A four letter word that is irrational, ugly, and mostly untrue. Where do we get this? Besides the dissatisfaction you feel with your partner, let’s talk about the elephant in the room that prevents you from walking away. F##R!
You have stopped yourself from taking risks. Why? There could be thousands of reasons. It could be that growing up, you were surrounded by risk takers and your life was filled with chaos. You learned that risk equaled uncertainty and that scared you. Perhaps your parents were fearful, and stopped you from trying new things. Maybe you tried something out of your comfort zone and it was simply too unfamiliar and you scared yourself. Does it feels selfish to consider what you want, so you have become fearful of the consequences of asking? There are so many scenarios and stories we tell ourselves because we are scared. We let the big F##R squash our desires, dictate our level of intimacy, and decide whether we live large or small.
Do you want to know the secret? In the end, it’s not about looking backwards and having that aha moment. It’s about seeing you – in full honesty, in full glory, in full messiness, RIGHT NOW.
KNOW THY SELF!
5 WAYS TO OBLITERATE THE SCAREDY CAT IN YOU!
1. TAKE a good look at this person called you. To destroy fear, honesty is crucial because it means your desire may be driven by ego-what the outside world wants, and expects you to do. It is because you are following others that make it scary. For instance. I think I really want to purchase a house in another country. I have been saying this for ten years. I have been afraid to commit. Why? Because I can’t decide if it is my decision or I am fulfilling my mother’s unmet desire. Weird, I know. But that’s how fear works. If it was a 100 want on my part I would have had that property by now. Trust me. What Woo Woo Girl wants, Woo Woo Girl goes out and gets!
2. SIT with you. Get to know what you feel like without pressure. Journal your thoughts and feelings. You might be surprised at how intuitive, smart, out of touch, wise, flaky, miserly or passionate you are. Once you understand this, you will know which quirk your fearfulness is playing into. 3. We all know how fear effects are health. Anxiety and Panic kick in and intrudes on your ability to make a conscious decision which is the ONLY weapon to battle fear! I had cancer twice and lost the sight of my right eye. For a brief period I thought I was going to die, until I turned the dial back to me. I stopped being afraid. How? I had chats with myself, and my body told me it wasn’t my time. It’s crazy I know. But it’s true. So breathe it out. Settle your body down and meditate for twenty minutes a day. I know, I know. Meditation isn’t easy, and it is kind of boring, but it is the best way to begin to come from a place that is you – no one else gets to join the circle and messy circumstances are not allowed in. Create space to listen to yourself.
4. MOVING forward, what will ring true for you? Make each step a conscious one. The more you listen, the less afraid you will be, and the choices you make will be the right ones. We can be conscious about setting goals and influencing the quality of our lives.
5. ASK over and over – is this a whim, or a conscious decision. Is this what my heart wants? When your choice is an integral one, there is no fear. It is simply your decision. Without integrity, life is unbalanced, and fear and stagnant energy invade your space like the odor of rotten eggs.
We all have circumstance that we want to change; jobs we want to quit, people we want to remove from our lives, big decisions to make, and little ones too. Without being aware, we won’t make them and will remain stagnant like my inability to make a decision about my overseas house. Ten years to contemplate something is a colossal waste of time. It wasn’t a priority in my life, I was trying to survive, but still – Time is precious.
Conscious living asks YOU to show up in your life!
How brilliant is that.