Dear Woo Woo Girl:
I am an emotional wreck. I’m 27 and feel like a soft cookie that crumbles all the time. So many things set me off. Work, drama with friends, not having a real direction in life. I kinda like my job, but shouldn’t there be more? I feel that I should have things sorted out by now. It is so expensive to live in this city, and I may have to move back home. I hate getting up in the morning. My boss is nice, bust she can be harsh and I take everything personally. I try not to show how stressed I am. I don’t think my friends and coworkers  know what I’m going through. My boyfriend kinda knows. I am on anti- depressants. Can you provide  a hack for stress.  
Signed Crumbling Cookie

Dear Crumbling Cookie:
Wow…first off, find a quiet spot. Take a deep breath . Breathe. Just Breathe. In and out for twenty minutes EVERY day…..Seriously.
You are living in hyper drive.
You have a lot of boxes filled with angst. Take a step back. Find that happy place and give your body a break from being on high alert. It’s way too much pressure.

Here’s the thing.
Understand that you are in transition. It’s not about going to school and getting that degree anymore. That was the fun part. Now you are transitioning into the boring and stressful part of life – the go to work, have dinner, meet for drinks, go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow while feeling obliged to do something fabulous for the next 30 years.
Not so much fun, is it?
Now you have a taste for what your parents went through . Lol

Kidding aside, I understand your angst. Coping with transition can be exciting or frightening. To make things worse, we have been taught that work should fulfill all our dreams.
Huge mistake!
Life should fulfill our dreams. Everything you do in your waking hours, inside and outside of work, should be purposeful. Focus on making LIFE full. Transitions, painful as they might be are the best time to figure things out, because it is the perfect time to learn things, like how not to let criticism in – but more importantly – how to thrive and survive without relying on drugs.
Living is not about coping but enjoying life with deep meaning.

Five Life Hacks for Building Your Resilience!

 1. REMEMBER WHAT YOU LIKED TO DO:
At certain times, work is just work. It’s not glamorous and it doesn’t fill the hole in your soul. There is no meaning and it’s simply a paycheck. Take the money and don’t attribute qualities to your work that don’t exist like “fulfilling.”

In your spare time, go back to what you loved to do for an hour a day.
Yoga, swimming, writing, jogging, cycling.
Whatever it was, do it. Find a Flow in it.
Something that fills your soul with enjoyment goes a long way to relieving angst.

2. TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF YOURSELF:
No-one and I mean no- one has it all figured out. This life business is trial and error. If your parents emphasized being a doctor, lawyer , or engineer, it’s because they didn’t want you to starve. But that is old school thinking and the world has changed. Take a look around you and think about how YOU want to live. You might be surprised. Maybe becoming a Burlesque Dancer is suddenly appealing – or teaching English abroad and being a nomad might make you happy.
Aspirations of a large house, and corporate career may not be what YOU really want – It’s so important to be flexible and accept the idea that careers are fluid. No-one but you gets to decide if it is the right choice.

3. DO GOOD IN THE WORLD.
Fixating about your life, and focusing on all the things that are not working, is a viscous loop. To push yourself out of your own head, try giving back.
Volunteer at a food bank, tutor, or advocate for something other than yourself.
If feels great. You might learn a new skill, or meet cool friends. It’s essential to put yourself in a place where you are doing something to feel good, without the expectation that YOU need to achieve something.

4. TRY OUT “Woo Woo” STUFF:
You don’t need to suddenly find God, but opening your mind to things like REIKI, energy healing, shamanism and other “woo woo” modalities is important – even more so when we are rigid and stressed out.
Why?
Because it introduces the possibility of magic back into our technology obsessed lives.
There are so many unexplained marvels in nature and the world. People have many gifts. (Science doesn’t and can’t explain everything) It’s really about being open and curious, which puts joy back into your life.

Do you want to know a secret?

Resiliency=Joy + Purpose =Bouncing Back Well!

5. PUT A STICKY NOTE ON YOUR FRIDGE THAT DEFINES:

YOUR PURPOSE. YOUR JOY. YOUR VISION.
At the end of the day, Resilience comes in the form of you. The more you stick to your version of you, the easier life will be. It’s incredibly simple. Keep looking into you. What you like, want or need.
Life will always be in transition.
Sometimes filled with really hard changes. I guarantee, you will have to grieve, re-evaluate your friendships, self-reflect, find a new career, find forgiveness –  but the more you stick to the authentic in YOU, the easier it will be to thrive and survive.  You will find the people to help you, and at the end of the day, you will be your own life preserver, cruise ship, and Captain who pours your bubbly.

I promise.