Be Tough. Be True. Be You!

Dear Woo Woo Girl:
I am really struggling here. I am 39. I work at a great job that pays the rent and then some. I don’t have any debt and I don’t own a car. My apartment is affordable and comfortable and no, I don’t own a condo. Most of my furnishings are second hand or from Ikea.  I have money in the bank and can eat out when I want. So what’s my problem? I feel like I should have more. A part of me feels like a failure for not having a house and two kids, and a car. Everyone jokes about how I live like a student, and asks when will I get married, buy a house and and start a family. I really don’t want any of the trappings. I‘m good being single for now, and I have NO desire for a mortgage, or kids, so why do I feel like a failure?  Signed Your Resident Failure.

Dear Your Resident Failure:
I want to shake your hand!  Good for you for not buying into the idea that everyone needs to own a home, have 1.2 kids, a huge mortgage, a SUV and a partner. That is what’s wrong with this world. Most of us follow the norm, and get caught in a lifestyle trap which isn’t suited to everyone, not to mention leaves behind deep impressions in our carbon footprint.

Here’s the thing. Society’s values are based on an old system that said procreation is a must, and came from a sense of lack which meant we needed more. Marriage was to gain money through dowry’s and not about mutual love and companionship. It’s utter nonsense.

Just out of curiosity, do you believe in conspiracy theories too? Just kidding. Because in a way, I would say good on you.

Conformity has it’s place, it’s just not for everyone. Most people assume that if you live alternatively, you must be a creative type. Bullocks to that. If you live a simple life it’s because you are aware of what you need and have no desire to seek more. Be content in that. That is a true reflection of conscious living. As long as your life is not dictated by fear; as long as it doesn’t reduce your capacity to be everything you are meant to be, then be you, even if that means swimming downstream when everyone is headed upstream.

The thing about mainstream society is that it causes a lot of damage. I call societal norms crowd control and big business. Rules that say you must live this way and not that way enhances how society and business run.  I love that you don’t contribute to over population; that your footprint is small. To be consumed with stuff, to adopt a “lifestyle” that is based on consumption has gotten us as a society, nowhere. Aside from the mess our world is in, there is a pandemic of anxiety all around us.

People copy other people’s choices. Why? Because it’s easy.  It’s simpler to follow someone else’s lead, and accept what is expected. To  do our own thing, which is so much better for everyone, is stalled for fear of being considered a misfit or weird. Or maybe most of us are lazy. Conscious living requires effort and a fair amount of inner strength.

Think about it Dear Resident Failure.

What a crazy world we live in when society makes us feel bad about our desire to live modestly. My advice? Find more like minded people. Take a mindfulness class to reinforce your choices. Post about it on social media and start a conversation around renting versus owning. You might be surprised at how much support you will get. You might also be surprised at how envious people might be. So many of us are caught in the trap of more, that it prevents us from living quietly satisfied and consumed with balancing our bank statements. There is no failure in what you do, and you are not living outrageously,

Stay tough. Stay True. Be You!